Fear and Survival

The smell of the swamp is the first thing that I remember as tried to open my eyes… My head felt like it was about to explode and I am pretty sure I could hear running water not to far away. I tried to open my eyes again but the dim light hurt my eyes so I closed them again. “Ok” I thought to myself , “Let’s collect ourselves, breathe in, breath out.. where am I and how did I get here?”. I start to feel panic in the pit of my stomach but I brush it away. I can hear my inner voice rushing to tell me what I don’t want to hear so I mustered all my remaining strength and I opened my eyes.

As the pain subsides I looked around and an intense chill runs down my spine. I realize I am wet to the bone. My clothes sticking to my skin like they lived there forever. The light mist doesn’t cover the greenness around me. Thick trunks with heavy roots. Moss covered oaks or some other swamp tree. “Where am I?” I try to figure it out but inside there is a blank. Except of course for the little voice I am ignoring at this point and intend to keep ignoring at least for a while.

Fear is a funny thing. It can be your ally but it can very much be your worst enemy. I am paralyzed with fear because the last thing I remember is a flash of white light. The unfamiliar surrounding is not helping a lot and while I am trying to get up a branch or something creaks and I hear the muffled sound.

In one fraction of a second all my body becomes tense and alive. So alive that the pumping blood rushing to my ears deafens the sounds around me. My breathing has jumped from a lethargic rhythm to that of a marathon runner on the last sprint for victory. Mi mind a million miles per hour is not really helping and I thank God at this time for the Survivor instinct in me.

I drop to the ground, hitting my hipbone against a branch and scream in silence to make the flashing pain go away. My hands are covered with fallen leaves and again I thank God, this time for the dampness that covers the sounds of my crawling across the field finding a hiding place in a bush.

I start looking around for bugs and creepy crawlers but Survivor instinct tells me to shut up and stay alive. He is kind of like a drill Sargent but since I realize the possible danger I let him take over. In any case I am definitely not qualified to handle the situation so I am happy to obey.

The distinct sound again getting definitely closer. The clown in me, scared to death and trying to make light of things as usual tries to calm me down. “C’mon! it’s probably just an animal…” she says very matter of factly. “Who would be out here in a place like this, right?” and then the Fear comes back, yelling loudly “Well, WE are here and we don’t know how we got here…” Thankfully Survivor will have none of this and makes us ALL shut up and pay attention.

It is definetly footsteps. We all know this by now and there is no way to deny it. I hold my breath as best I can since it is going at lighting speed but I am confident I am invisible and have blended with my surroundings. (to be continued)